[ML-General] Clarifications

[joshua carr]

In these wee hours of the morning I am my most eloquent self. I've decided
to write a bit tonight to clear up some rumors about myself and my fiance
that have been recently brought to my attention.
When I applied for membership a while back(my 4th application in 6 years) I
was unexpectedly and callously denied. The friends I've made in the local
maker/hacker community over the years were quick to criticize the reasons
that were given for this, but I feel that that if you guys felt strongly
enough about them them to turn me down, then I should be just as concerned.

(1) It seems that my choice of lifestyle was an issue for most. I read
vague assumptions about how a person who lived in a modified vehicle rather
than in a house or an apartment MUST be applying for membership so that he
can take advantage of the facilities for daily functions like showering and
preparing meals. I AGREE that this is not what the shop exists for. I had
already established more reliable means of accomplishing those tasks, but
there was no way for any of you to know that.

There were concerns that the presence of such a vehicle would hurt the
image of the shop. It seems that some of the members are very put off by
the appearance of poverty(homeless camp). What was insulting was the vapid
assumption that, if I was made a member again, I would "live at the shop"
and never leave.
There were nights that we stayed in the shop driveway and used the shower
the next morning rather than driving back to Lacey's spring, but only after
we were encouraged for weeks to do so by several members.

Ive never been treated like a hobo before, and I'm certainly no bum, so I
was quite upset by this, but I hold no grudges against the people who said
these things. They were expressing valid concerns based on what they had
seen or heard, and that's why makers Local has this process.

(2) There were also concerns that Amanda, my girlfriend of 4 years, was
"part of the deal" when deciding to allow me back as a member. There were
statements that she was irresponsible with, or not to be trusted around
other peoples valuables.

This is entirely MY FAULT.
A year ago, when Amanda and I were going through a sour spot in our
relationship, I went on 2 angry drunken tirades, while at the shop, blaming
Amanda for the failure of my business and my subsequent stress and misery.
These were baseless statements made out of anger and frustration that have
since evolved into a bad reputation that Amanda did not earn and does not
deserve.
Amanda did not steal from my company. My business failed because it was not
prepared to grow and I never drew a line between our personal finances and
those of the business.
So, while she was partly to blame for the misery that drove me to drink so
much, the other problems were not her doing.
I can't apologize enough for the things I said. I hope each of you can see
past this.
I had come so far and risked so much, that I couldn't admit to my family
and friends that I had failed. I consider most of you my friends. I have
respect for each of your individual successes and felt that I owed it to
you to be successful as well, so I found a scapegoat in Amanda, and I've
been eating crow ever since.

It's past time to set the record straight, for her sake.
Amanda has been a helpful right hand to me in most of my endeavors and has
taken the time to clean various areas of the shop on several occasions,
including regularly neglected areas like the bathrooms and the kitchen.

Being unable to change the past, I'm focused on the future.

I'm pleased to share that our lives are very different now. Since reading
your fervent support and damning condemnations of us, we have taken some
steps to alleviate your stated reasons for apprehension.

(1) We don't live in the van anymore. Amandas aunt owns a 4 bedroom house
just over the bridge south of Huntsville, and we are renting one of her
spare rooms. The van has been emptied and is now merely a mode of
transportation again. This also means that we will no longer have to bring
our yappy little dog with us to the shop.

(2) We are gainfully employed. Our "hustle and flow" means of supporting
ourselves was enough to pay our few bills before, but wasn't something that
many of you can relate to, so we went out and got regular jobs. Amanda is
managing a pizza joint and I'm a delivery driver. I've been able to put
more money into my projects and Amanda has dusted off her sewing machine
and done a few of her own.

(3) We are no longer attached at the hip. We purchased a second vehicle
allowing us individual means of travel, and we now work varying schedules
that don't always allow us to both be at the shop at the same time... For
whatever that's worth.

I'm sending this out to you all because I intend to reapply for membership
soon, and would rather be humble than be humiliated... Again.

TL/DR
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not homeless or jobless anymore.

Amanda is good people, despite what I said when I was drunk a year ago.

Amanda has her own car now.

Yappy dog stays at home now.

I need to be a member again, cuz I got more money than time.

Stop treating me like a hobo, and just let me work on my projects.

Please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Josh Carr

Joshuaq.carr at gmail.com
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